he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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