I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
