Got a toothbrush?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
