woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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