what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
