just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
