She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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