At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize