what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
