What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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