I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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