dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize