If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
