Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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