shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
