We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
