im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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