No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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