my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
