I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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