Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
tonight lets celebrate not being married
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize