you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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