She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
