Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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