rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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