i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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