Small penises have feelings too.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
