sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
