He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
