I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
