Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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