You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
