He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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