"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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