and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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