hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
