I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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