what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
