I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
