p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
