I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
