well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She bit a glass in half.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
