its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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