And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
