OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
