Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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