You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
