she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
