Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well you can't waste a boner
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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