hell yes lets make some ravioli
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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