Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
