I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
