My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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