I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Randomize
