it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
