How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
