Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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