If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
